she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Randomize
