all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Randomize
