There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Randomize