...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Randomize
