this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
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