Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
