it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
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I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
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I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize