VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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