Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
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