Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Randomize
