You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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