Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
