There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
