we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
