It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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