Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize