Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
