I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Randomize
