If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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