one might say we're banned from that church
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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