that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
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