I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize
