Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize