the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Randomize
