i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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