The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
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