last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Randomize
