I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize