Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
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