can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
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