you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
