My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Randomize
