I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
