5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
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