I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Randomize
