Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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