i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
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