Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Mom said you looked used
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
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