Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Randomize