Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
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