When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
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