Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
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JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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