Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
