Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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