laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
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