So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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