Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
My vagina is very pro this idea
Randomize
