I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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