If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Randomize