Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
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