I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
17 People Who Prepared For Spring Break The Right Way
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
21 Distraught People Found Out They Had An STD
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island