Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
19 Parents Admit the Lies They’ve Told Their Children
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
21 Worst Confessions on a First Date
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha