of course. lets lasso hookers.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize