I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
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