between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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