ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
he just fucked me for my cheese..
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