I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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