I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
