Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
