Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
