I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
