I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
You dont lie about slip and slides
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Randomize
