If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize