Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Randomize
