the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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