In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
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