"it" just moved
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
