I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
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