i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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