dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
My ass is underappreciated
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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